This is just a fun blog about my family and me. I like to share my thoughts, experiences, and dreams with all who like to read them. I hope they will bring a smile to your face and a thought to your mind.
I never thought I would say this, but I am going stir crazy being laid up at home with cellulitis on my right leg. On Monday morning I woke up not feeling quite right. I was achy all over, weak, and a bit chilled but had no clue why I was not feeling well. It wasn't until I was giving Ashton a bath that I noticed a large red area on my right leg. Immediately I knew I had to get to the doctor. Needless to say, I had to take a week off work and have had to keep my leg elevated with heat being applied 20 minutes on and 20 minutes off. Honestly, the being off work part hasn't been so bad, I've had extra time with Ashton but being limited on what I can do has made me and Ashton stir crazy. Reading a book is a great past time for me (I haven't had much time to read since Ashy was born and just started the book "The Help.), but poor Ashton just wants to play with me or go outside so it is not fair for me to read while he is awake.
Today to help alleviate some of our boredom, I remembered something I had seen on TV. A woman allowed her kids to finger paint on the inside of the dishwasher door then when they were done, she closed the door and turned it on.
Ashton loved this! It is a definite winner. Next time I may let him finger pain in the tub or the shower.......larger surfaces with infinite possibilities. I think I willhave him bag the shirt too when he is in there and just paint in his diaper!
It has been such a long time since I last posted. Life has been busy but great. Ashton is now 19 months and very active and funny, he keeps me on my toes. So, recently I have made a commitment to myself (and to Ashton and the dog) to go walking every day. I have set a goal to walk 2.5 miles most of the time. The days I don't are usually when Alan is with me and he is not up to walking that far due to his bad joints and lack of fitness level. I can't complain, he has to start somewhere.
I have been walking when I first get up in the morning. I put my walking clothes on, get a bottle ready for Ashton, get the dog's harness and leash on, and off we go pushing Ashton in the "new" jogging stroller. It has been a great way to start my day. I am getting some very needed sunshine and the exercise I need to get fit. For so long I had difficulty getting out to go walking due to osteo arthritis in both of my knees. I would go out one to two times per week but would be in too much pain to go more often. I finally decided to get cortisone injections in both of my knees and it has helped me immensely. I am not miserable and can go longer distances. Why I didn't do it sooner is beyond me!
Ashton and Mandy (my dog) are great motivators and very excited walking partners. Mandy follows me around the house wondering if I am going to get ready to go and keeps whining at me until I actually get her harness on. She gets me out the door. Ashton, on the other hand, keeps me moving once I am out. If I stop longer than 15 seconds Ashton gets upset and will cry. The second I start moving again, Ashton is happy and content. What better motivators could I ask for?
I have to keep this up. Not only for my health, but for Ashton's health. He needs to see his mom exercise and love it. I will never be a runner because I don't love it and it hurts too much, but walking is something I totally enjoy. I wish I could get over to the pool to do water aerobics but it is too difficult for me to get ready and drive over there in time. No worries, walking is great and I am going to keep it up. It is time for me to start a new blog tracking my fitness progress and hopefully weight loss. I think I'll call it "Fluffy Girl Fitness" because I am a fluffy girl trying to get fit (I use fluffy because I hate the word fat.)
Thanks for reading my blog and feel free to give me any weight loss or fitness pointers.
I was sitting here thinking about all of Ashton's firsts: first experiences, birthday, foods, toys, laughs, steps, but most recently his first haircut. Though I have been having headaches lately (an unusual thing for me), Alan and I took Ashton to get his first haircut. He went from looking like a baby to a little boy almost instantly. He sat in the chair really still for a 13 month old and only cried a little. I did give him his binky so he would feel a little more comforted. The stylist, Gaylynn Geiss, has done my hair for several years so she was the natural choice to give Ashton his first haircut. She cut his hair in about 6 minutes! It amazed me that she could cut his hair so fast. I guess she has had a lot of practice cutting baby hair and wiggly children. I must say I was proud of my boy for acting so big for a little guy!
As you will notice, I changed the title of my blog. Realistically, my home isn't always happy, but there is always something happening. I try to be happy amidst everything that goes on, but sometimes I put on a happy face when what I really want to do is vent, be mad or frustrated, sad or depressed, or laugh at some of the dumb things I do. I also want to share the fun and happy times too, but I have to be real and share my struggles in order for me to grow. In sharing my struggles and achievements, I plan to take the Pollyanna approach and make myself put a positive twist on whatever I may talk about. So now, on to my latest rantings. WOW! What a year 2010 turned out to be. So many trials intertwined with blessings. Looking back, I can't believe I started out the year as a new mom and Ashton was only a month old! I spent the first couple of months of 2010 staying home with my baby while hooked up to a wound vac. That was difficult when it happened but sure seems like old news now. That ended up being a blessing by allowing me to be home until Ashton was 3 months old while getting paid the entire time. Fortunately, life was uneventful for about 5 months while I adjusted to being a new mom. Then came the beginning of June, the start of "criminal" activities for me. Finally standing up to my mother-in-law ended up being detrimental to my clean criminal record. An argument ensued between the two of us and ended with me receiving a citation from the Salt Lake City police for domestic violence and a few other charges. June, July, August, and Septmeber were filled with attorneys, court hearings, fines, and an anger management class. I learned through this whole event that it is better not to say anything and just walk away. Fortunately this event opened Alan's eyes to how his mom treated me and how he never stood up for me. Through months of counseling, Alan and I have learned how to manage his mom more effectively by taking the driver seat in the relationship (if this makes sense.) Alan's mom and I have made amends and are kind to one another. I definitely will not let myself make the same mistakes with her that I made in the past, but I have forgiven her for what she did and she has forgiven me (for now) for what I did. In August I was in a car accident that totalled my 2002 Ford Escape. I was within a mile from work on Vine Street and 300 West. A lady in a Toyota Corolla ran the red light and broad sided my car. Hers looked like a tin can that had been stepped on while mine looked like it would be all right. Unfortunately, the front axel was totally broken and there was a lot of internal engine damage so it ended up being totalled. However, I received nearly $9,000 for my nearly 9 year old car and went to buy my new car, a 2009 Ford Edge. I love my new car. It has black leather seats that have seat warmers in them and a DVD player in the back seat (these are my two favorite options.) It is a very nice car and I love to drive it. September was my saddest month. My dad passed away on September 12th from a massive heart attack (we think.) His passing shocked us all yet at the same time it wasn't too much of a surprise. It shocked us all so much because it happened so quickly with no suffering involved. He had been dealing with some chronic health issues for the past couple of years, but he seemed to be managing all right. He wasn't able to walk as far as he once did because he got winded so easily, but somehow he managed to a few of the things he still loved to do. Dad loved to watch sports and yell at the refs. He loved to play electronic Yahtzee and solitaire on the computer. He loved old war movies and westerns. He loved to go grocery shopping and out to eat, but most of all, my dad loved to spend time with his family. He was so excited whe he found out I was pregnant with Ashton and was one of the first people to see and hold Ashton after he was born. He was so happy and proud to be a grandpa again. Fortunately dad got to know Ashton for the first 9 months of his life. Now Ashton is fortunate to have a grandpa who will be looking over him from heaven. I have missed my dad's corny jokes, his laugh, his smile, teasing, childhood stories, work ethic, dedication, compassion, faith, love, and devotion to wife, family, God, and church. I think about him every day and just wish I could hug him one more time. October and November proved to be happier months. Though dad was gone, I was able to enjoy Ashton's first Halloween and his first birthday. Ashton was a monkey and Alan and I dressed up as bananas for Halloween. Ashton didn't quite get the idea of holding his bucket out for candy, but we will se if he catches on next year. November was great. My aunt Rinda and uncle Marv came into town for Thanksgiving. It was great to see the two of them and have some laughs. We also celebrated Ashton's first brithday around Thanksgiving. We helped him open presents and baked him his own mini cake so he could tear into it. He was a little timid at first to just dive into the cake, but after licking some of the frosting off one finger at a time, he realized it was cake and grabbed a large handful and shoved ti in his mouth. He enjoyed the cake for a minute or two but was soon annoyed that there was cake sticking to his hands. Once he was cleaned up, Ashton was a much happier one year old. Finally December was upon us. The first week and a half was filled with shopping and decorating followed by fevers and colds. Ashton was a miserable little guy. He was recovering from getting six immunizations, was getting his top two front teeth, and had bad cold on top of it. Not too much later Alan and I were sick. Of course as a mom I never get a sick day, I have to keep taking care of the little one as well as nursing my husband. One Sunday, December 12th to be exact, I stayed home from church sick. I wanted to finish decorating the Christmas tree, but Ashton wanted me to hold him. While holding Ashton in my arms and decorating the tree, I tripped on my pants and fell to the floor while hitting my right shoulder on the wall. I heard and felt my shoulder crunch, but was more worried about hurting Ashton. Fortunately Ashton wasn't hurt, but I found out later in the Instacare that I had fractured the top of my humerus. I wore a sling for two and a half weeks and began physical therapy on the 29th of December. Wow! what a way to end an already eventful year. I feel fortunate that my should wasn't hurt worse and that Ashton wasn't hurt in any way, but it really would have been nice for it not to have happened at all. Well, GOODBYE 2010!!! Hello to 2011! I hope this year proves to be less eventful and more prosperous. Best wishes to all of you who read these rantings, I hope you find them entertaining.
So far, this summer has been filled with firsts for Ashton. He went to the zoo for the first time and we had a great time. He spent a little time outside in his jumper while I gardened. He got to swing in the baby swing at West Jordan park, and he sat in the wading pool for the first time at Grandma and Grandpa's house. Sydney sat behind him to make sure he didn't tip over in the pool. Ashton loves to play with his toys and loves all the crazy pacifiers that Alan and I (as well as my family) have bought him. He is such a sweet boy and is so much fun. I am so blessed to be his mom and am enjoying every second of his life. He is my miracle.
Tomorrow Ashton and I will get to go to a birthday party for a friends 2 year old little girl. She asked me to make the cake since she was going to do a rubber ducky theme and have a wading pool party. I am so pleased with how this cake turned out. Finally my frosting wasn't too stiff so the edges didn't fall off this time. I used fondant for the beak and chocolate wafers for the eyes and for the circles along the outside. I made the balloons out of card stock and used bamboo skewers to hold them up and poke into the cake. The party hat was made with scrapbook paper. I think this is my best cake yet and I think my technique is getting better. It has been a lot of fun decorating cakes, now I need to find tried and true cake recipes that I know aren't going to spill over in the oven.
Last Tuesday I started a fondant class. This is what the cake looked like after learning how to put fondant on properly. I made a home made butter cake, frosted it with real butter cream icing, then laid the fondant on top. I had some extra royal icing flowers and attached them to the top of the cake with butter cream.
Later this week I will be working on a baby shower cake. I can't wait to get started on it.
Today marks my 13th wedding anniversary to my sweet husband Alan. I think about all that has gone on in 13 years of marriage and how we still laugh and are great friends. I met Alan through my dear friend Bridget. She and Alan worked at Discover Card in collections and he asked her out. They dated for a short time and went on some double dates with me and a guy I was seeing at the time. I wasn't interested in the other guy and Bridget and Alan decided to just be friends. He asked me out and we have been together ever since....... that was in August of 1995.
So many things have happened over the years, but here are the top 13:
1. I finished nursing school
2. We bought our first house, a townhouse in West Jordan.
3. Alan got an associates degree in computer networking.
4. We built our current home further west in West Jordan.
5. We got our dog Mandy.
6. I sell Mary Kay.
7. We've gone on 2 cruises..... one to Mexico the other to Hawaii.
8. We finished our basement.
9. A good friend moved into our basement.
10. Attempted fertility treatments.
11. Did foster care for 8 months and had 3 adorable siblings live with us during that time.
12. Magically got pregnant with our first baby.
13. Are enjoying our life with our sweet little Ashton and LOVE watching him grow and develop.
I am planning on spending many more happy and adventurous years with Alan. I know we will grow closer and will be great parents to our little boy. I hope that Heavenly Father will bless us with at least one more child, but I will leave that up to Him.
This week has been a roller coaster of emotions for me after having the huge argument with my mother-in-law. I have been so upset with myself, but mostly upset with her and her inability to take some responsibility for taking part in our fight. I have laughed, cried, and plotted how I could get even with her, but I have been unable to find any peace in my thoughts until tonight. While driving home from work I was thinking about my own mortality and the mortality of people in general. Life is fragile and can be altered or ended at any time. I see this every day at work...... my patients had been going about their lives as usual and one event has now changed it permanently either causing death or disability. These things can be devastating to families and cause stress. These situations warrant stress, but I see so many people make the most of these difficult situations and come shining through on the other side. I have come to the conclusion that life is too fragile to hold a grudge against my mother-in-law.
While searching for some answers to my problems, I found a talk on LDS.org by President James E. Faust about forgiveness LDS.org - Ensign Article - The Healing Power of Forgiveness. He talked about the Amish community who reached out to the family of the milk man who killed 5 of their little girls and wounded 5 others. They forgave so quickly and willingly and showed the true spirit Christ. He quoted Dr. Sidney Simon who stated "Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves." Matt 5:44 says "But I say unto you, Love your benemies, cbless them that dcurse you, do egood to them that fhate you, and gpray for them which despitefully use you, and hpersecute you" She said hurtful and awful things because she felt belittled (though initially it was not my intention.) She became offensive and rude because it hurts her too much to be vulnerable and cry. She is a person with feelings and a child of God too and needs some love and understanding. I hope with some help and time I can understand how to deal with her better and hopefully help her heal and learn to forgive and free herself from a lifetime of hurt.
Holding a grudge will never heal my wounds and will continue to dig deeper wounds in her heart. The Lord has commanded that I forgive her if I want to be forgiven of my wrongdoings. I think it is time for me to write her a letter asking for forgiveness. I truly am sorry I lost my temper and injured her. I am sorry for the hurtful things I said to her and for my lack of patience with her. I hope our relationship will mend and will become stronger one day but until then, all I can do is offer her my unconditional forgiveness and hope that she will forgive me for hurting her.
I like to think of myself as a pretty rational person who gets along with everyone. I have the physical barrier of being fat that I have to help people overcome before they realize I am a fun, likable person. However, being fat has always been my nemesis and is something I am not proud of. I have battled my weight since early childhood when kids in school were so willing to bully me, exclude me, and call me names. Mostly I have been able to set my insecurities aside, roll with the punches, make friends, and find diversionary activities which helped me develop my self esteem and sense of self worth. I found talents through my weaknesses that helped me develop the successful person that I am today. By no means am I at my goal weight, I will forever be working hard to get there, but I can say I like the person I am despite the fact I don't like my size. That being said, why is it so easy for me to snap mentally when someone call's me a fat "b--ch"?!
This weekend I was not feeling well. A head and chest cold accompanied by nausea plagued me during this beautiful sunny weekend. Despite feeling sick, I decided it would be all right if we spent the afternoon having a late lunch with my mother-in-law. Lunch went fine until the end when my mother-in-law got upset over some words exchanged between her and my husband. She wanted to find her own ride home. I tried to smooth over the situation and convince her to ride home with us, but before I knew it, she was attacking me personally and calling me derogatory names. I allowed myself to stoop to her level by getting upset over her words and said hurtful things in return. I then proceeded to walk away with my baby in my arms when she shot an arrow through my heart by calling me a fat "b--ch." I came unglued and charged at her, almost punching her. I lost my cool and threw a plastic cup at her, never meaning to hurt her, only to scare her. This 20 ounce empty plastic cup left a one inch gash on the top of her head. I feel like a complete idiot! I let her get to me, lost my temper, and am now paying the price for this split second decision to throw a cup at her. I lost any dignity I had when I did this. My dignity would have been kept intact had I just continued to walk away while she yelled at me, making her look like the idiot.
One thing said....... I have learned my lesson. She brings out the worst in me and I plan to stay away from her for as long as I live. She has serious psychological issues and will never find happiness until she starts liking herself and stops blaming others. I have just dealt with 15 years of verbal abuse from her and FINALLY have had enough. I snapped!
So, I was supposed to start the 3rd Wilton class a week ago Saturday, but due to lack of sleep, didn't make it. I did however show up at Robert's for class yesterday morning only to find out that no one showed up at all last week so the teacher postponed the class for a date to be decided upon. So, I decided to give working with fondant a try on my own since I already had a cake baked and frosted with butter cream icing. The above cake is what I created. It is a white cake with apricot filling and glaze surrounding the whole cake. The then frosted it with butter cream followed by store bought fondant. It's not too bad for my first attempt, however, I need to learn how to make the edges look seamless and how to deal with cracked fondant. The ribbon of fondant that goes completely around the cake was put there to cover some of the seams, The "scrolls" on each corner were there to help mask imperfections as well. All in all, using fondant was kind of like working with sugar cookie dough. Adding color was kind of fun too but I can see how it could stain your hands...... fortunately I had some latex gloves hanging around my house. I haven't eaten much fondant icing and I've had quite a few people tell me how terrible it tastes, however, the little bit I tried wasn't as terrible as everyone said. It tastes quite a bit like marshmallow. Anyway, this cake is going to my parents' house for dinner tonight so the whole family can try it. Later this week I am going to attempt to work with fondant again and take a cake to work. I can use all the practice I can get.
On May 24th Ashton will be 6 months old! I can't believe 6 months have passed since his birth. Pregnancy seemed to last forever but since Ashton is here and I am helping him experience the "outside" world, I can't believe half a year is over. Ashton was born 2 days before Thanksgiving, a Thanksgiving I will never forget. This little man came into my life and my life has been joyful ever since. I love being a mom, it has been more than I ever expected. Of course, there was a time when I gave up expecting to be a mom. That was a difficult time in my life. So much of my energy was spent being sad even though I put on a good face. I tried my best to not let my sadness affect the joy other people had with the birth of their own children. I did find a way to cope with the sadness, it involved babysitting and spending time with my amazing niece and nephews. I have always loved taking them places, playing with them, and buying them things. It is hard to believe that they are so grown up now. Cole is 18 and graduating from high school, Charlie is 14 and finishing 8th grade, and Sydney just turned 12 and will start 7th grade in the fall. I am so proud of the 3 of them. They are amazing kids and I love spending time with them as teens, but I miss them needing me or enjoying my silliness. If I say something somewhat silly (which used to be funny to them,) they are totally embarrassed. Embarrassing them does have its charms, but I miss the genuine laughter over something I said that was funny or how they seemed to look up to me. Taking a strong interest and playing a role in their lives helped me to cope better with my infertility problem. I love them so much and am so glad they are a part of my little Ashton's life. He has 3 wonderful cousins who love him and I know they will be good examples so he has someone to look up to.
Cole Christensen, age 18. He is going to go to Westminster College on a ROTC scholarship. He is a talented lacrosse player, excellent student, and motivated kid.
Charlie Christensen, age 14. Charlie is a self taught musician, excellent student, amateur wood worker, and thoughtful kid. He is very witty, reads a lot of books, and plays lacrosse.
Sydney Christensen, age 12. She just turned 12 but acts and seems older. She plays lacrosse, loves to hang out with friends, and loves to make jewelry and decorate cakes. She and I have been taking cake decorating classes together. It is something we enjoy doing together.
I can't believe how little Ashton was when he was born. He has gotten so big, is so interactive, and is such a happy baby. I am making an effort to enjoy every little moment of his life. I want him to know how much I wanted him in my life, how much I love him, and how I will keep trying to be a better person every day because of him.
I have recently been thinking about getting Ashton a walker. I know there is a lot of controversy over walkers and safety: babies falling down stairs, getting burned, pulling stuff off the table on to themselves, etc. even while parents are supervising. However, I like the idea of Ashton been able to sit upright and push himself around the kitchen floor, I think he may find it fun. There is no way he is falling down the stairs, we live in a ranch style house and I have the family room blocked off from the stairs. I promise not to cook while he is in his walker, and I don't have a table cloth on my kitchen table for him to pull on. My mom said I loved being in the walker as a baby and never had an accident in it. Does anyone have any thoughts on this?
This year was my "first" mother's day. Though I was a foster mom last year, it feels different this year having had a baby of my own. I understand the bond that exists between a mother and her baby and know I would go to great lengths to protect, love, and nurture my little one.
As I think about my mom this mother's day, I cannot begin to express how much love and devotion I feel for her. She is an amazing example to me of devotion, sacrifice, hard work, steadfastness, happiness, and love. She taught me so much throughout my life and made sure that I had opportunities to develop talents and succeed. She didn't have much in the way of possessions growing up and didn't get to experience the opportunities that so many people take for granted, but she made sure her children had an opportunity to be exposed to a variety of experiences. Mom made sure to get us into music lessons, especially piano, and encouraged us to practice and share it with others. My brother, sister, and I all play the piano and we each play a separate instrument. Eric and Cyndi both play wood wind instruments so when it came my turn to choose and instrument, my mom asked me if I wanted to play the flute or the clarinet like my siblings. I remember clearly telling my mom that I wanted to play the violin while we were at a Granite Youth Symphony concert for my brother. A few weeks later mom and dad told me they were going to take me to look at violins but it wasn't likely that I would get one that day. About an hour later, we walked out of Summerhaye's music with my first violin in tow.
My mom also made it a point to make sure we went on some sort of vacation each year. Most times it wasn't anything fancy, just camping in our trailer at Bear Lake or a camp ground up one of the local canyons. Some of my most favorite memories resulted from family vacations.
Mom has also been the foundation in my life. Any time trouble or sadness arose in my life, mom was there to hug me and offer words of wisdom. She has never let me down because she always seems to have the right answers. I hope I can be the kind of mom my mom is to my little boy. I hope he will look to me for wisdom, comfort, and love. I hope his life will be as enjoyable as mine has been, all thanks to a loving mother.
This year I decided to write my mom a poem.
A Little Girl’s Dream
A little girl’s dream is to be a mother one day,
She puts on mom’s shoes, her dresses, and makeup in play.
She imitates mommy as she cradles her doll,
Singing a lullaby, “the cradle will fall.”
Her doll she will chastise when she has been naughty,
But praises her quickly for using the potty.
She reads her a story, her most favorite one,
And tells her she loves her more than anyone.
My mother is loving, faithful and strong,
Charitable, spiritual, with a heart full with song.
She showed me what it was like to be a great mother,
An example of love shown by no other.
She is my strength, my beacon of light,
I still seek for her wisdom, her compassion, and might.
Now I am a mom with a baby of my own,
A good example I want to be, like the mother I’ve known.
I will love him, protect him, and teach him what’s right.
I’ll kiss him, and cuddle, and rock him at night.
I’ll teach him patience, kindness, and love,
To kneel down at night and pray to Father above.
To be like my mom was my little girl dream.
I learned from her, copied her, no better mother I will ever deem.
I want you to know how much I love you.
I appreciate all that you were and are willing to do.
You mean so much to me and my little clan,
And will follow your legacy the best that I can.
Happy Mother’s Day Mom!
Ashton made me some beautiful artwork. I received an imprint of his little hands and an adorable picture of him (Thanks Cyndi for helping Ashton.) He also got me a card which made me tear up.
This picture was used to make both grandmas a work of art. Ashton imprinted his feet into clay and gave them a picture. The funny thing was my sister got the same kit I did to make me the hand impressions. My niece Sydney knew all about it and was great at keeping it a secret.
Ashton is so lucky to have a wonderful grandma (my mom) who wants to babysit. She and grandpa watch him 4 days a week while his mommy and daddy are at work. We love grandma a lot!
For Mother's day, Alan gave me a beautiful card and a cake decorating kit that I really wanted. He knows how much fun I've been having with cake decorating and wanted to get me something I'd enjoy. He is a wonderful husband and father and I am so lucky to have him in my life.
Last night was my last class for my Wilton 2 cake decorating class. I learned how to do the basket weave technique and how to do a rope border and got to use the flowers I made on the cake. The bird and the birdhouse were made a few weeks ago and were very fragile. Both of the birds I made broke on the way to class so I was only able to use half a bird in the middle of the flowers on top of the cake. All in all I am very happy with this cake, the only thing I would do differently is fewer leaves just below the flowers around the house. My next class will be dealing with fondant and I am so excited about it.
For Mother's day, Alan bought me a 101 piece cake decorating kit. I know it isn't mother's day yet, but he couldn't wait to get it and give it to me. I am absolutely thrilled and can't wait to use it. Cake decorating has been a blast and I can't wait to post more pictures.
I am a "Fluffy" girl. I have personally fought obesity my whole life. I am a registered nurse, married to a fantastic man, and have 2 adorable boys. I love to laugh and enjoy making others happy through friendship and laughter.
